The Holy Order Of The Asian Pussy Pounders
54th Street Garage
by Chris Maupin, created Thursday, November 02, 2006, with permalink

A bitter wind blew some beautiful garbage down the sidewalk to its natural resting place--anywhere but the trashcan. I wondered to myself "Why doesn't the city just make 'trash traps'?"

Hisssss! Skreeejerk! The shitty bus pulled up and opened its mechanical eppiglotus and devoured me. I took my place amongst the mobile human bacterial culture. Public Transportation Roll Call!

Mumbling bum? Here...mumbum..sattellites...
Regular Bum? Jesus Saves! here.
Always looks stressed out girl? Present.
Woman with eight Children? Here (here, here, here, ...)
Dying of Infectious Tuberculosis Man? He-cough, cough-re Hipster-listens-to-only-obscure-local-bands-guy? Here.

Ok, looks like everyone is on-board. So I settle into a nice position and happen to tune into the conversation taking place between the bus driver, and her friend who seems to be an off duty bus driver sitting across the aisle from her.

Driver: Naw, baby, you don't want no 67 route- that shit is busy all night!
Friend: Shit, I don't know shit about shit thayan (then)
Driver: "Ashland, Ashland- next stop is Ashland.."
Friend: Whatever happened to that new guy...Charles?
Driver: Charles? You didn't hear about that shit? That nig*er got his ass fucked up.
Friend: No shit? (laughing the way you laugh when someone gets locked out of his car.)
Driver: Yeah, he got him a '54th street garage welcome,' shit..
Friend: Those boys (the city hired mechanics who make $40,000/yr) at 54th are baaadd.
Driver: Yeah, they done jumped him and put his ass in the hospital - ha ha,
Friend: "welcome to 54th street sweetheart!" (reminiscent of the way you would joke about someone getting a disappointing tax refund.)
Driver: Ha ha, shiiiiiii-yit that's what I said. Well, you can't be stupid 'round there- you gotta show some respect or that's what you get..
Friend: So how's yo baby?

Fucked. up. Was I the only person who was still alarmed by this? Someone was beaten by a group of city-paid workers- and that is simply "welcome to 54th street garage baby?" Different worlds. Totally different worlds. I used to think our society was fairly integrated- but let's get real. In my world if someone taps my bumper, I get out and exchange insurance information with him. In that world, getting beaten within an inch of your life is akin to getting a parking ticket. Another everyday thing. Two worlds exist in this city (and most cities in America): Disney world is my world, Alcatraz is the other. For me it was the ultimate sign of society gone wrong. What is wrong with us man?

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